I’ve been getting requests to post the mantra that I say to mySELF each morning as soon as I wake up. So here it is! What do you do first thing in the morning? I would love to know.
What’s Normal Anyway?
An invitation to stay in the tough conversation…
WOW!!!! What a month June 2020 has been. Our world is inviting us to stay in the tough conversations with our restlessness for things to start opening up, racial killings in the US that captured the world’s attention, protests happening everywhere united around the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter, and the recent removal from our parliament of an MP who stood up to racism.
Through it all I watched and listened. Not sure what I wanted/needed to say until now. You see I too have lived a life of privilege. Some of my experiences include:
- Growing up in a mostly French speaking, middle class predominately white neighbourhood on the South Shore of Montreal.
- Attending schools that had children from many different ethnic backgrounds,
- Opportunities to participate in sports, arts, and clubs (Brownies/Guides) and never felt the colour of my skin was a deterrent to whatever I wanted to do.
- Counting on one hand how many times I encountered circumstances where the colour of my skin was the reason someone treated me a certain way.
- Wearing my hair in acceptable styles, relaxed, braided, weaved.
And then COVID hit.
“Normal before COVID19 was sooo many things swimming in the undercurrent of our everyday.”
I’ve had some tough conversations with myself and others. I let some things go…shifted how I engage with others, and began to see what I couldn’t see before. Many conversations double back to “wanting things to get back to normal.” And, I’ve found myself asking, “what does that mean? What’s normal anyway?”
Normal is defined as:
- conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
- free from disease or malformation.
- the usual, average, or typical state or condition.
- in accordance with scientific laws. normal(adj) being approximately average or within certain limits in e.g. intelligence and development.
Normal before COVID19 was sooo many things swimming in the undercurrent of our everyday. Drummed out by the hum of everyday living. Then there was quiet, and the things we chose not to hear or see, rose to the surface. Talk about uncomfortable. In the last two months I invited you to consider your natural rhythm, and to be open to staying in the present moment. Today I’m inviting you to consider “What is normal?”
Is your ‘newnormal’ looking over your shoulder to see how close someone is standing to you? Is normal involuntarily stepping away as someone approaches you? Or reaching in for a hug then abruptly stopping? Is your normal teaching your kids to put their hands out if another child approaches them? Are you wary of public transport? Do you think twice when you enter a book store to browse the books? These are all examples that I have heard from people I’ve spoken to.
What do you want to create?
It hasn’t taken very long for us to acclimatize to this new way of being. Will this become our ‘new normal?’ The bigger question is, “is this the normal I want to create for myself and my world?” I’m not saying don’t follow the rules. I’m asking if you’re willing to trust your internal cues? Are you willing to go back to that place of quiet inside yourself and check in? To see what feels right for you.
One of my favourite exchanges from the movie Cloud Atlas is:
“No matter what you do you’ll never amount to anything more than a single drop in a limitless ocean.” The response…”What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”
Normal is whatever we choose it to be. We are being given an invitation. Go back to what was, or create something different. Each of us represents the multitude of drops that make up an ocean. That is where the power is!
Until the next time!
Lisa
Connection
What does it mean to feel connected?
It’s something we all strive for, and, each of us defines differently.
The Webster dictionary defines connected as:
- joined or linked together
- having the parts or elements logically linked together
Not very helpful…why? Because, we can be joined, or linked together, with a person, or a group, and not feel connected. How often have you been in a situation where you were surrounded by people and yet felt completely disconnected? Not a part of? Like you didn’t fit? It happens when we’re with family, friends, co-workers, strangers. It’s like being in a vacuum of space…alone. It happens when we’re children and well into our adult lives. We learn to mask connection.
We all strive to be a part of…something. It’s why we join, and form groups. Why we look for our tribe, or community. Throughout our life we create various playing fields where we strive to be, and feel connected.
I think the key word in the last sentence is ‘feel’. What does connection feel like? Some define it as warm and fuzzy, some say their hearts feel ‘full’. Others feel it in their belly. It’s different for everyone. This is where it can be confusing. Why? Because I might feel connected in a way that seems foreign to you, and vice versa. We assume what’s going on inside of someone is similar to what is happening inside our self.
Before we go down the yellow brick road of what it means for someone else, let’s focus on you.
Some questions to ask yourself about connection include:
- How connected do you feel with yourself?
- Are you aware of the sensations coursing through you?
- Are you connected with your body, soul and mind?
I have a theory…
We can only connect to another as much as we are connected to our self.
During this time of physical distancing, even for those who live with other people, many are feeling isolated and disconnected. Disconnection happens when you feel you’re hovering above yourself. Like you’re watching your life unfold with no real investment in it. Connection presents not only with ourself but with the people we share our life with.
How many of you feel truly connected with the people you are sharing a space with? Consider it may be an indication of how connected you are inside yourself. How many of you have noticed recently that you actually feel disconnected? You might notice the disconnect more now because all activities that distracted you are now gone. You find, all you want to do is hide in a room, or surf the net, play online games, anything so you don’t have to deal with the gulf that can’t be ignored.
We can only connect with another to the degree to which we connect with our SELF.
Do you remember the saying? “You can only love another as much as you love yourself.” Well… the same is true of connection. We can only connect with another to the degree to which we connect with our SELF. The question to ask is “What is it you need to do to connect or reconnect with yourself?” Some take a walk, or colour, do puzzles, read, listen to music or podcasts, meditate, sit by the water. It doesn’t really matter what you ‘do’. It’s more about if you can sense being inside yourself, grounded. It might take practise. And, there is no right or wrong answer.
Being connected creates a wonderful effect. It invites and allows us to feel more connected to others, even if we can’t be with them physically. There is an energetic force with connection.
Notice, when you find yourself longing to BE with, or by yourSelf, it might be an indication that you need to replenish the connection with yourSelf. It may be the first step in re-establishing your connection with others.
Until the next time!
Lisa
Let’s Be Raw
The COVID-19 Pandemic is causing widespread anxiety on a global scale. My belief is this is actually an exciting time for us as a species. It’s an invitation for us to get raw, to be real, in ways we have buried deep within.
This is an opportunity for us to go deeper, to rediscover a part of our humanity we have been distracted from. We are being invited to connect, with ourself, and others, on a new level.
I want know what your experience is? How are you engaging the practice of social distancing…which is not meant to be social isolation.
In this video I express where I am and I am encouraging you to leave your comments on what you’re experiencing. Your truth…nothing more… or less.
Will you join me in peeling off the layers?
SHIFT
SHIFT – an invitation for you to begin the journey of healing the stories intelligently created since childhood.
Hosted by Paula Whitelocke
Where: The Cultural Arts Studio
From: 11:00 am to 4:00 pm
For more details and to reserve your space please visit SocialKreative.com.
Three Presenters:
I of the Storm Coaching & Consulting along with Mindfulness Meghan, and iNTENION first will each be offering a workshop for this event.
What does healing really mean?
“The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.”
Trauma and cultural conditioning go hand in hand. It doesn’t matter where we are born, or if we’re male or female. We’re all affected by our cultural conditioning. It’s the script that runs in the background of all the choices we make.
Do you know that you have the power to release past experiences?
The first step is to acknowledge their existence!
This conversation is for those of you ready to move beyond the wounding still driving the bus.
Say YES to a day inviting you to give yourself the love and attention you need and deserve.
The Power to Connect – Sifting Through the Chatter Workshop
Learn how to change your words to make different choices
We’ve laid the foundation from the first conversation, and now we’re ready to begin the work.
During our time together we will delve deeper into the things that hinder your making different choices, and address how to move you to where you want to be.
We will dive further into what triggers the ‘weight’ of responsibility to make the ‘right’ choices for you and your family.
We will explore in greater depth…
- Your expectations and judgements
- The conversations that are going on inside your head
- The key to reframing your conversations
This event is for you, if…
- you’ve found yourself asking “How does my internal state of being impact the choices I make about how I eat?”
- you feel the weight of responsibility to make the ‘right’ choices for you and your family
- you’re still not seeing the results you anticipated
- you feel overwhelmed by all the information out there
- you keep asking “How do I make a different choice?”
Connection is the key to every relationship. The one we have with yourself, the people in your world, and with the food you eat.
Register and be a part of the conversation to discover:
Investment: $40.00
This event is hosted by the Natural Food Pantry – Barrhaven location
Register to reserve your space
