Green dot Archives - Lisa J. Weiss - I of the Storm Coaching & Consulting

Androgynous godForce

I’m taking a break from editing. Why? Because the impulse is strong to have what is moving inside of me made public. For the last few days I have been letting the words androgynous godForce rumble through me. It all started with an email I received from Louise LeBrun on an audio file I posted in the WEL-Systems® Institute engage area for my fellow CODE Model Coaches™ and Affiliates. She wrote:

“To know the effects of culture on the device is one thing; to fall into the trap of engaging from that, is another story. I hear you – and you are becoming androgynous. All godforce.”

And so began the unveiling of, and recognition of, a truth that I have held for so long. It’s not about the content of our experience. It’s about:

What we make of the content.
Who we believe ourselves to be based on the content of our experiences.
Choosing to own it, or not.
Recognizing when I am the four, eight, sixteen year old and when I’m the 48 year old.
Knowing we have choice!

Reality and Possibility

Insights

This is a blog I wrote on the plan on my way home from Halifax last Saturday…

There is what I see and then there is possibility. As I look out the plane window on my trip home from Halifax, on one side I see a land mass, water, buildings, everything that is defined as I know it. On the other side I see nothing but clouds, a blank landscape, waiting for me to create whatever I want.

This is the experience I had last week, I bore witness to five women, including mySelf and Naomi the facilitator of Decloaking, discover that what we know to be real is just like looking out one side of the plane.

Waiting

Insights

Last night I emailed a friend and colleague to work out some logistics and in her response this morning she mentioned she is ‘waiting’ to see if anyone signs up for her event late in the afternoon. And I can’t begin to tell you the flurry of activity it set off in my body. I did breathe AND it was not enough since I had to prepare myself for a meeting with a client. So as I sit here now, having the time to really let the sensations move through me I am curious. What is it about the words or the idea of having to wait for someone else to make a decision to see if I can do something mean to me? Memories of being told to ‘wait’ to go to the bathroom if we were on a trip, to ‘wait’ my turn, to ‘wait’ until someone catches up all meaning for me to put my life on hold for someone else.

I am DONE with that. No more waiting. A ringing in my ears, no longer willing to wait to show up for my life. It’s all about me right? So what about my deadline, my cut off point, my line in the sand where I declare you have until this time to respond and then I am moving on?

Bad moments

Insights

Wow I must have a lot to say today… I haven’t blogged in a while and now I can’t seem to shut up. Louise LeBrun made a comment about how we tend to fixate on the ‘bad’ moments on my last post and it has been rumbling around inside of me all day. The question that has entered my awareness is what is a bad moment? When I first read the line I immediately focused on those moments where I have a disagreement with someone, or when I feel rejected or shunned or not loved or respected and internalize that I must have done something wrong. Knowing now that is all me projecting that inside of me.

There is Always More

Insights

This past week-end I once again had the pleasure to be in the company of eight powerful women. Each one carving out a new way of being for others to see there is a different way to be in this world of ours. When my very dear friend Naomi arrived off the plane on Friday night I knew I was in for a wild ride. I could feel inside of me, something… something old, something deeply entrenched that wanted to…needed to move.

I am a Human… Being

Insights

I have been seeing, hearing and talking about this term for the last few days. It keeps popping up. I know that is means… something. Even as I write the words on this ‘page’ I feel a rumble inside of me. I am a human… being. Not a human being saying it as we normally do, without thought, as it is our birthright. With all the books I’m reading and conversations around ‘being’, it is becoming so simple. Like breathing I am, we are humans…being. That is all.

How do I live? Well now, I take a breath, then engage, it is the act of me being, it is totally uncomplicated. I have heard the term, the nominalization, human being all my life. It has been used to separate , to pass judgement. I never took the time before now to really say and hear the words in this way. I am a human….. being. A tree knows tree, it know nothing more than how to ‘be’ tree. As a human I have been taught to twist myself into all sorts of things , to be sister, daughter, wife, friend, foe, worker, independent, mindful, careful, scared, the list could go on and on. When really there is only one thing I need to know, to be a human….being.

I am not sure why this is resonating with me so much, why it has been calling for me to write since I read Lisa’s blog on WGGG yesterday. I just know it is significant to me. So I will sit here breathing, allowing it to move through me and see where it takes me.