The Road to disconnect is paved with expectations

This article, 6 1/2 things you should stop expecting from others, came into my inbox. I was curious, so I read it. What struck me, as I was taking it all in, was the extreme agitation in my body. I get it, I really do, AND what I realize is, it’s not about stopping expectations it’s about recognizing, owning and declaring our expectations.

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Why am I not feeling as connected to this person or that person?” or saying “We used to be so close, what happened?” Often, what sits underneath it all is our lovely friend, expectation. Over time, unbeknownst to us, we seem to build up our expectation muscle. We have higher expectations for those that we’re closest to, no matter the environment.

We expect more…

When we raise the expectations status level of our loved ones of how they act and speak towards us and others it creates a barrier for connection. We stop seeing the person that is standing in front of us, and see who we want them to be, or who they have the potential to become. When the expectation muscle has been conditioned, it hides under the surface and we become unaware they are working. They often emerge when the outcome of a situation creates a feeling of discomfort, frustration, or agitation inside of us. We discover, we were looking for a certain outcome.

Which path do you choose?…

Now, in my experience there are two paths. One, keep the expectation hidden and react with righteous indignation, which often results in some kind of disagreement. Or two, own the discovery, and then if the impulse is there, share with the other person what is going on inside. Reveal the expectation.

Consider, every time you chose to own, declare and engage in a conversation with someone about your expectation, whether it’s known or unknown, you create an opportunity to take your connection to a whole new level, and give you insight to discover something new about yourSelf.