When was the last time you surrendered?
Imagine my surprise when I realized ‘Surrendering is not a one time thing’! I am re-reading Anatomy of a Calling by Lissa Rankin. This book rocked my world! It has been an invitation to surrender…AGAIN.
Two years ago when I was on the edge (lack of clarity, nothing was working, clients were scarce) I literally fell back onto my bed and surrendered to the universe, God, the void, the thing that is so much bigger than my human. And, in that moment my life changed in ways I could not imagine. I got greater clarity on my purpose, became an author, moved back to Montreal and my team grew. I thought I was done. That all I needed to do was stay the course.
Then my human began to creep in and things became hard again. That is always the first sign… and, I have to admit I don’t often catch it when it begins. Sometimes it’s not until I’m right smack in the middle of it. When I find myself spinning. Not sure what direction to go. Back to doubting myself. Does this sound familiar?
The in between…
In the book Lissa speaks to the journey of the hero and all the adventures along the way. Of the battles to be fought, the letting go of long held beliefs, people, material things, and the experiences that ‘force’ a different choice. She also speaks of Charles Eisensteins’ “the space between the stories”. The land of not where we were…and not yet where we are to be. Surrendering requires listening to the voice. The one that suggests things that seem far fetched, and outside of our comfort zones. It’s quite the challenge. Our intellect/human creates sooooo many stories as to why we shouldn’t go down that road. She/he coaxes us stay in the space we know. The one we feel safe in.
This is especially true when we cannot see the outcome. I find myself back there again. Unsure of what is next. What else is there to surrender? I have no idea, and yet, that is the call. In the past I might have felt nervous, restless, on pins and needles. This experience is different. I feel very calm. It’s almost eerie.
A natural question is “What am I supposed to do?” I could curl up in a ball and wait for this to pass… Not a very practical response… And...in all honesty, this voice has come before…years ago with a very similar call. I ignored it then. Which led me to years of turmoil. YES, I did learn things…and, this time I’m making a different choice.
You don’t have to do it alone…
This time, instead of swimming around in all the thoughts and stories by myself I created a space for me to hear my SELF out loud through the voices of others. A gift through the words of one person from my tribe resonate She said, ” Lisa, sometimes it’s like being an arrow in a bow. God is pulling you back, and there is tension and struggle AND if you’re willing to relax into it and stop struggling ,to surrender, when He lets go you will soar.” I’m also spending more time in nature, and taking action… taking the leap into the unknown. I’m choosing to trust the that voice, which, when I think of it, has NEVER steered me wrong.
Am I nervous? YES! Scared? YES! Curious about what’s waiting for me? YES!
If you find yourself in this space, it’s best to lock arms with those who you know are willing to walk with you. Our natural tendency is to go it alone. I spent many years doing just that. What I learned was that approach just makes the journey more daunting. Are you willing to surrender to the next thing that is calling you, knowing you can also choose to be surrounded by those who are willing to hold space for you?
I’m discovering surrendering is a natural and ongoing part of the journey. It’s one of the ways in which we discover more about our SELF!
Until the next time!
Lisa
