Last night I emailed a friend and colleague to work out some logistics and in her response this morning she mentioned she is ‘waiting’ to see if anyone signs up for her event late in the afternoon. And I can’t begin to tell you the flurry of activity it set off in my body. I did breathe AND it was not enough since I had to prepare myself for a meeting with a client. So as I sit here now, having the time to really let the sensations move through me I am curious. What is it about the words or the idea of having to wait for someone else to make a decision to see if I can do something mean to me? Memories of being told to ‘wait’ to go to the bathroom if we were on a trip, to ‘wait’ my turn, to ‘wait’ until someone catches up all meaning for me to put my life on hold for someone else.
I am DONE with that. No more waiting. A ringing in my ears, no longer willing to wait to show up for my life. It’s all about me right? So what about my deadline, my cut off point, my line in the sand where I declare you have until this time to respond and then I am moving on?