I am restless. We are back from spending a wonderful time with my brother and his wife and our niece in LA and I am restless. I have spent a good part of today just catching up on the posts on the womengathering site and I am restless. I see the words and some resonate, and most don’t. I’m distracted, there is something I need to share.
There was a time when we were traveling on the plane to LA when I looked outside and there was nothing. As I close my eyes now I can see it, I can experience it again. That feeling of being in nothing, it was just a white space, nothing to see above or below, to the right or the left. Just space, a space that I occupied, just me, and in those moments even the people on the plane did not exist, it was just me in this space. And I felt that, at that moment, I could create whatever I wanted, that if I wanted to open my eyes and see a jungle that is what I would see. It was in that moment I realized I create my reality and in between my creation there is just space, a whole lot of space.
I reveled in the moments with my three year old niece, who lives every moment in the moment, and the moments change in the blink of an eye, from shrieks of laughter to tears and back, living totally in her body. What a gift to bear witness to the spark in it’s non conformed essence and to know that I am that spark too and it is my choice if I present myself in a conformed way, or to let the spark shine through, unencumbered. What a gift to hear her speak her truth as she knows it to be, even when it’s something she could not possibly know and yet she does. Ahhhh, a green dot moment for me, we already know what we need to know even if we don’t know we know. And it is the rules we place on ourselves, the trick our minds play on us to convince ourselves we could not possibly know.
I have been reading Sekhmet Rising and understanding even more that all of the women in the book are relating MY Story in some way shape or form, getting the fact that we are ALL from the same source and therefore connected even though we sing a different song.
I am no longer restless. What I am is eager, eager to stand and show who I am at all times KNOWING this is who I AM.