My anxiety over who I present to the world is no longer valid

I have been evolving slowly under the guidance of my awesome cousin – Lisa J. Weiss, alchemist and coach. I have been slowly allowing my body to guide me in through the many life changes and decisions in the past seven years. Taking me out of my head, “my intellect” and feeling my way through decisions that would have normally kept me frozen for months, if not years!

“I didn’t want others knowing the indecisive, still learning who I am, ‘hot mess’ at 48 me”

When Lisa mentioned the idea of the Power of Seven Group Session I was excited for the concept but not the group part. I didn’t want others knowing the indecisive, still learning who I am, ‘hot mess’ at 48 me. Reluctantly and rehearsed as to how to present myself I called in to join the first session. I wasn’t presenting that Mary to anyone but only to Lisa on my private journey.

However, once I opened my mouth my well rehearsed stage persona fled the scene and left the uncertain, let others have their way, hide my joy, not sure where I’m going Mary upstage and center. And she spoke truth filled with pain and tears. My fellow group session mate was just as raw and real, it was like my body was tired of hiding and took over. Lisa guided us to process this with our bodies and not our intellect. To allow us to feel what we were feeling.

“Lisa guided us to process this with our bodies and not our intellect”

The power I felt I had over my life from releasing all that was inside was empowering. I went out that week being joyful regardless if others did not like it. I stood up for me when ‘child Mary’ wanted to let others unintentionally or intentionally stomp on my thoughts, and feelings. It was not as easy as it sounded but every time I thought to revert back my body balked at going back to that anxious, tightly wounded space. Lisa’s check in with your body, take a breath into the sensation allowed me to check in with each situation and that I had a choice. I loved the freedom at saying ‘Yes’ to me; to my feelings and thoughts. I am not responsible for anyone else’s feelings and thoughts but my own. It was liberating! It allowed me to breathe. It allowed me to be decisive or not, to know my journey for today or plan for tomorrow and not have to account to anyone else.

“I loved the freedom at saying ‘Yes’ to me”

As we continued on, my Power of Seven session mate and I discovered our paths are similar, yet we were polar opposites. Different race, backgrounds, even countries however our life paths were so interconnected we drew strength, gained insight and supported each other through this process. Lisa created a shelter for us to share, grow and emerge.

With Lisa’s guidance of over our language, and reminders to checking with our bodies, not our intellect, I felt changes happening before I saw changes as I acted them out.

My anxiety over who I present to the world is no longer valid. I now present Me. There is no division and I don’t apologize for who I am.