I am living a very different life and I have to admit at times I have no clue what I’m doing or where I’m going and you know what? I’m good with that. I guess I expected once all the WEL-Systems? programs were done I would know it all… HA I know now I am always really just at the beginning… of what I don’t know. What I do know is this new life feels a whole lot better than the old one.
What has changed? Better yet, who has changed? I have. Is it easy? Yes and no, claiming and owning who I am everyday, being who I am is easy living in the newtonian world sometimes is not. It is so easy and I know it’s everything in me that makes anything difficult. I am much better at living this new life… each time I sense a difficulty I take a breathe… sometimes a few, and choose… differently. And by making that different choice my life changes.
What is my new realization? I am living my life out loud, not hiding anymore. Being comfortable within my skin… again a very different feeling. I can’t remember the last time I felt so alive, where I knew the essence resonating throughout me was me, not some impostor pretending to be me.
How can I feel so lost and yet have so much clarity. Certain words jump off the computer screen when I am reading… never give up on yourself, never doubt yourself even when everyone else is telling you something different. Again the word TRUST, I have to trust mySelf. Trust my voice. The voice that speaks so clearly to me now. When I relax into my voice there is a clarity that I cannot explain.
There is a joy that is building up inside of me. I cannot explain it, the words do not seem enough. When I am engaging in the way that I want to I have this overwhelming feeling of joy, I don’t have all the answers. What I do have are many, many questions and I’m not afraid to ask any more.
I am living a very different life right now, one I could never have imagined, breath by breath, moment by moment, learning more about myself when I am willing to engage. There have been times when I don’t feel like engaging so I don’t. It’s my prerogative and I know when I don’t engage it’s a lost opportunity to learn more about mySelf and I know another opportunity will come because that is what we do you and I, we create our lives our experiences moment by moment.
I am getting used to my new skin and I am still shedding some of the old. I am stepping into a new reality that I am creating for mySelf and I know exactly what it looks like from the inside and have not a clue of what it looks like from the outside, how exciting is that!
Naomi Irons says
Thank you for speaking to my Soul. I know I am not alone.
Clarity with no direction is a new one for me as well. I am beginning to relax into this ride and the more I do the faster and more intense it becomes. Knowing that trusting myself is the only trust that exists makes it easier to stay internally referenced. I am SO glad to be on this journey with you and to also know the search is over!