I have been witnessing the power of mySELF in the past few days and I am… I don’t have the words to describe what I feel. Deeply moved does not seem enough. I have been taking flight and seeing and feeling the majesty of it all. I recognize now that I AM a Quantum Biological being that is the vessel for mySELF to stream through, and when I let go of all the clutter and noise I have been accumulating and listening to for the past forty some odd years it really is that simple to be me. Truly living in the moment as I was reminded of by my three year old niece means that what brought me joy yesterday may not bring me joy today and that’s okay. That I am on my journey is all that matters and along the way I may or may not have an impact on others, however if I hide who I am then no one benefits, especially me.
I am no longer afraid to be who I AM. A very good friend brought this to my attention yesterday. She wrote “just being me scares the crap out of people” and in that moment I realized that for me when I am spewing my fire all over the place, trying to hold on somehow, to control it, knowing I have no control over it, yes people are afraid. And when I take a breath or two or three and own my fire, own my feeling, whatever it is, it comes out very differently. And I am just as intense, only different, just me being me in the moment. The difference is when I own my fire it opens an opportunity for me to learn about myself and for whomever I am engaging with at the time to maybe learn something about themselves IF that is where they are, if that is what they are seeking.
It’s not about why I feel this way, whatever way it may be and attaching a story to it. It’s owning that I have these feelings, that they are a signal to me to pay attention to mySelf. The result of taking full ownership of my feelings in the moment is no one has to be scared, especially me. I no longer have to worry about blowing my top as long as I remember to breath. And the members of my Ohana tribe keep reminding me of the simplicity of things, because things are moving fast and furious now, I am manifesting what I need, and it is effortless, and when I am ‘in’ the hunt as Naiomi so wonderfully stated I get lost as opposed to ‘being’ in the hunt. And as Louise stated everything is just a conversation unless I let myself get lost in it and forget to just ‘be’.
I know I’m just rambling here and I know that’s okay, that I will sort things out and eventually it will make sense, maybe it makes sense to you and that’s okay too. The message for me today is keep it simple.
and what i discovered is…its not that people are scared of my truth….its me scared of my own stories that i make up about them precieving me. I have a fear of public speaking…and today one of my classmates said they couldn’t tell i was nervous at all…. yet my heart was pounding out of my chest before i went up. whatever i did before created a different effect then what i had thought..yet it was my story that created my experience of them preceiving me as something else. its scary as heck….but its the pathway to not being scared. no other way to go through but to just go through and take the chance…and claim it.