I’ve been thinking about the new state of being that I am in, and the only word that comes to mind is flow. I am in flow. There was a moment when I felt that perhaps I had lost of sense of ‘feeling of emotions’, then I realized, I have moved so much information inside of me I have created an enormous amount of space inside of my Self. So how could I expect to ‘feel’ the same way. The intensity is still there, I mean that IS who I am, yet I no longer feel the agitation, or gut wrenching turmoil that used to accompany it.
For a while it was like I had lost an old friend, I knew turmoil inside my Self so well, to not have that felt, well, different. And as I pay attention to what is going on ‘outside’ of me, I see, and experience, flow everywhere. It’s all about play. Struggle was a game I used to play… well no more. I fully trust that whatever I create for my Self is genius. That there is nothing I have to brace against, I get to choose to be in flow or not.
Choosing to be in flow does not mean I don’t get upset, feel frustration, sadness or anger, what it does mean is, I know it’s just a state I am experiencing in the the moment and when I relax into it I discover something new about ME. And then the moment passes and I’m onto the next state of being, just like children, who move effortlessly from one state of being to another until we, as adults, interject to let them know that a particular state is good or bad.
It’s my birthday this week and I am excited once again! Sure I could go back to why I did not feel excited in past years and I know that is totally irrelevant, this moment is all that matters. I get to be present to my Self in this moment. What is different this year? I welcome all states of my being, all sensations that pass through my body, why? Because it means I’m here so my gift to my Self is for me to BE my Self every moment of every day… IN FLOW.