It has been an awesome summer! I have moved through so much in such a short space of time I am not sure I can capture in words all that I have discovered. And yet I feel that it is important for me to have others bear witness to ME, to where I stand in this moment.
So many different pieces of the puzzle of my life are coming together and it is in the words of my dear friend Naomi Irons where I begin to see a new tapestry emerging. Moving from MANAGING my life to being the CREATOR of my life. Managing is easy, it’s the simple day to day events of choosing. Creating my life is very different I must be willing to STAY AWAKE to MYSELF. To own the responsibility of my internal state in my life. I have been slippery with mySelf, talking to not being responsible for the internal state of others, when really I need to ask mySelf am I taking responsibility for my internal state in this moment? Am I willing to no longer calibrate the cards I’m holding and just put them on the table as they emerge?
Noticing the conversations still taking place inside mySelf of what I should, could, would say instead of just choosing to voice them in the moment to see where it will take me. Being slippery with mySelf in not wanting to take on what I perceive as not mine, when in fact everything and everyone that I engage in is about me and for me to discover something new about mySelf.
Am I willing to see and experience my world as a holographic universe, that I am the CREATOR of my world, every second of it. When I slip into sleep the conversations are booming and loud, shaking me to WAKE UP, to CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY. And I know when I choose to keep my eyes closed, to see only the story I want to see.
There is nothing wrong with managing my life, the question is, “Is this how I want to live my life?” And I know the answer is NO! Managing is too small, too confined, not big enough. Tell mySelf the truth of my experience. Do I want what I want? OR am I just saying the words and making the same choices that keeps getting me more of what I have? Am I a victim of mySelf? AHHH There it is…held hostage to my own stories of do I deserve more than what I have? Am I willing to CHOOSE yes?
In this moment this is ME, CREATING my life…