What does it mean to feel connected?
It’s something we all strive for, and, each of us defines differently.
The Webster dictionary defines connected as:
- joined or linked together
- having the parts or elements logically linked together
Not very helpful…why? Because, we can be joined, or linked together, with a person, or a group, and not feel connected. How often have you been in a situation where you were surrounded by people and yet felt completely disconnected? Not a part of? Like you didn’t fit? It happens when we’re with family, friends, co-workers, strangers. It’s like being in a vacuum of space…alone. It happens when we’re children and well into our adult lives. We learn to mask connection.
We all strive to be a part of…something. It’s why we join, and form groups. Why we look for our tribe, or community. Throughout our life we create various playing fields where we strive to be, and feel connected.
I think the key word in the last sentence is ‘feel’. What does connection feel like? Some define it as warm and fuzzy, some say their hearts feel ‘full’. Others feel it in their belly. It’s different for everyone. This is where it can be confusing. Why? Because I might feel connected in a way that seems foreign to you, and vice versa. We assume what’s going on inside of someone is similar to what is happening inside our self.
Before we go down the yellow brick road of what it means for someone else, let’s focus on you.
Some questions to ask yourself about connection include:
- How connected do you feel with yourself?
- Are you aware of the sensations coursing through you?
- Are you connected with your body, soul and mind?
I have a theory…
We can only connect to another as much as we are connected to our self.
During this time of physical distancing, even for those who live with other people, many are feeling isolated and disconnected. Disconnection happens when you feel you’re hovering above yourself. Like you’re watching your life unfold with no real investment in it. Connection presents not only with ourself but with the people we share our life with.
How many of you feel truly connected with the people you are sharing a space with? Consider it may be an indication of how connected you are inside yourself. How many of you have noticed recently that you actually feel disconnected? You might notice the disconnect more now because all activities that distracted you are now gone. You find, all you want to do is hide in a room, or surf the net, play online games, anything so you don’t have to deal with the gulf that can’t be ignored.
We can only connect with another to the degree to which we connect with our SELF.
Do you remember the saying? “You can only love another as much as you love yourself.” Well… the same is true of connection. We can only connect with another to the degree to which we connect with our SELF. The question to ask is “What is it you need to do to connect or reconnect with yourself?” Some take a walk, or colour, do puzzles, read, listen to music or podcasts, meditate, sit by the water. It doesn’t really matter what you ‘do’. It’s more about if you can sense being inside yourself, grounded. It might take practise. And, there is no right or wrong answer.
Being connected creates a wonderful effect. It invites and allows us to feel more connected to others, even if we can’t be with them physically. There is an energetic force with connection.
Notice, when you find yourself longing to BE with, or by yourSelf, it might be an indication that you need to replenish the connection with yourSelf. It may be the first step in re-establishing your connection with others.
Until the next time!