Every sensation, emotion and or feeling is an experience and the quality of our life is determined by how each of us welcomes or does not welcome the sensations, feelings and or emotions. In another powerful Decloaking and Living Authentically Experience I realized that I have been moving away from victim.
Over the past year my life my life has shifted significantly, I am in the process of separating from my husband. In each phase of this shift I believe I have handled it gracefully and honoured my Self in the process, and, in doing so I have completely ignored and tucked away the experience of claiming victim. This is very different from ‘being’ victim. I chose to rise above ‘being’ victim, to not wallow in self pity or blame; instead to rise above it all and recognize things and people change and life does go on. And it has worked for me. What I have just come to realize is I also chose to not claim the experience of victim. I did not allow myself to feel the full measure of what this actually felt like inside of me, that is until very recently. In that moment I relaxed into the sensation of knowing there was nothing I had to do or figure out. It was a moment and I can finally say I stand in a very different place, that piece of inner struggle that was taking place is gone, the sensation of being on high alert is also gone, I am free to BE me. This is what wholeness means to me now. There are always two sides to a coin and I realize it’s not about choosing one side, it is in allowing ourselves to experience both sides where we gain the ‘whole’ experience, where we don’t have to run from ourselves in keeping at bay an aspect of an experience that we ‘think’ is going to be unpleasant or not necessary in order to move through something. I appreciate the new layer of understanding of what it means to experience a situation fully without judgement of myself or anyone else.