My husband and I are in the process of preparing our house for sale, and part of that process is staging. Lucky for me I have a friend who is an expert in that area. I get the concept, really I do, create space and remove all aspects of who we are so that others can see themselves in the house. And I remember when we were looking, if you saw what our current house looked like in terms of colours used… well let’s just say it took more than how it looked. It was a feeling, and the fact it had pretty much everything on our list.
So here are the questions that has been bouncing around inside of me, how much of our lives do we ‘stage’ for others so that they can feel comfortable in our presence? How much of mySelf am I willing to hide away so that I can present what looks like the perfect friend, sibling, child etc…?
I’ve been hearing the words “it’s not your house during this time,” “It’s only until the house is sold…” Really? Actually yes, that is a fact it’s not my house, it’s my home. It’s the place where we welcome friends and family and have created a warm and loving atmosphere, it’s the place where so many memories have been created, it’s the place where we gather to discuss how we are changing our lives. It’s not a house.
There was a time when I would be willing to sacrifice most of who I am to please others, so that others would feel comfortable in my presence. Don’t get me wrong, I still want people to feel comfortable, I’m just not willing to sacrifice mySelf anymore. Be mySelf and tell the truth… yes I sometimes still dawdle on this one, and I’m getting better, especially when I remember it’s MY truth, and no one else can confirm or deny it. So I’ve been ‘resisting’ the process, mainly because anytime I feel I have to ‘put away, or hide’ something that represents me the wave moves and I need to let it be processed and metabolized. It’s an interesting process… I find mySelf often asking the questions, “why does this mean so much to me? How does this define who I am?” And the answers, well that shifts, the more words, the more I know I’m in my head, when the answer is simple and clear then I know I’ve hit upon something. Yes, this is an interesting process, how much stuff am I going to be willing to let go of that don’t really define who I AM yet is my external representation of who others think I am?
Interesting questions don’t you think? I’ll let you know how it all works out.