Yesterday I spent the afternoon in conversation with two very unique godforces, one over lunch one in the latter part of the afternoon. And knowing everything is about me I sit here this morning letting all the sensations that I feel rumble around inside of me. Thoughts of my journey, of getting out of my own way, meaning letting my body lead, was one filled with all kinds of information being brought up in my body.
I have a formidable intellect, I needed to have a sharp intellect in order to survive. I was told growing up that I needed to rely on my intellect to be successful; success, I now know, is just an nominalization a word that we, as a society, attach meaning to. I digress, to be successful I needed my intellect to guide me through the mazes and hoops that society in general has set up. And then in the last year I have discovered something different, something new. I have discovered the genius of my body, the quantum biological device that is designed to process 30 trillion bits of information a second. So began my journey of separating the two. Only to realize they didn’t need to be separated, what I needed to do was to integrate the two. Engage with both, just differently than how I engaged with them in the past. To do a flip.
I am now living my life very differently, allowing my body to lead. My body gets information from the I AM that I am, my essence, my being, spirit, whatever you want to call it, it, my body, then translates that information by creating sensory perceptions that through my many years of experience categorize as good, bad, right or wrong. And before this moment I would react in habituated ways, calling upon the knowledge I had stored in my intellect. Now I get to choose, do I react out of habit or do I choose something different? And choosing something different sometimes only means breathing and acknowledging the sensations as information in flow, nothing to do, nothing to figure out.
We are a society obsessed with figuring things out, and go into chaos when we can’t. If I don’t feed my intellect with information it rebels, creating all kinds of stories which are then played out for me to see. It took some time for me to relax into not having to figure everything out. To trust that sometimes I just need to sit in the fog, or the muck and that it’s perfect. To not go looking for the answer as much as to let the answer come to me. Ever notice sometimes when you lose something and you look and you look to no avail, and then you forget about it and go to do something else and poof it shows up, right in front of you? That’s what I’m talking about.
We are a society that wants everything now, impatient with having to wait, not realizing that sometimes it’s in the waiting that we find the greatest gems of insight. So I have learned to sit in it. To know that there is genius in everything that I create and to trust that. Life is never boring when you take it one breath at a time.