At some point in time we break-up with our partner, spouse or even friends. Often it’s based on someone not getting something they need from the other, and is externally referenced. Meaning we are looking from the outside in to solve the ‘problem’. What if there was a different way?
We are always creating our world. In the past four years I have had two significant breaks ups. One was my marriage of 16 years, the other with my current partner of two years. What I’m noticing is a huge shift in how I am moving through the more recent one. For starters, it was an internally referenced decision, one reached based on the conclusion we were at an impasse, and rather than stay the course, and compromise, we choose to dissolve what we knew of our relationship.
The break-up was not because we don’t love or care very deeply for each other, it’s the exact opposite. It’s because we care so deeply. It has become an invitation to consider the creation of a different space for US to emerge. Sometimes we hold a lot of resistance at the beginning of a relationship, stories of bad timing, not ready, it might be comfortable etc… In this case it was the thread of resistance, on my part, that continued to weave it’s way through the tapestry of our co-creation. One that became a multitude of threads which coloured what I heard, said, and how I reacted. I began to put pressure on myself, found myself in performance role once again, and I knew that was not sustainable.
I realize this is an invitation for me to ‘break-up’ the habituation of the beliefs and attitudes I hold about being a couple and of the stories I fall into about what it’s supposed to looks like, out there. The question, who am I living my life for comes into my awareness.
This choice is not about walking away, this is an opportunity to walk towards creating something very different a way to discover what’s possible, to find a new thread. There is possibility in a way of being I have no reference point for, something I have never experienced.
I don’t know where it will take me. All I know is MORE awaits me on the other side.
Until the next time!