I have been in turmoil for the last little while. Not the kind that ends in angst, the kind that creates movement. I am about to embark… no I have been preparing for a great adventure. I have been flying, taking little trips, strengthening my wings and know that I am almost ready to take the greatest flight of my life. I know that once I leave this nest I am not coming back. I am taking nothing more than mySelf, I am giddy with excitement and I am afraid. Still unsure, and willing to engage anyway. I spent some time with Louise yesterday, I love this woman. And as we conversed I felt a clarity begin to rise within mySelf. There have been posts on density and intensity and Louise spoke of it yesterday and I wasn’t sure I got what it meant, I get it now. I have been experiencing a density within mySelf in my quest to let go of the who I am now for the who I know mySelf to be. No big change, in fact a very subtle change with a HUGE impact.
I manifest what I want in my life. I was beginning to feel constricted, it manifested itself in my throat, in a subtle constriction of my airway, not enough to cause breathing problems just enough to make me have to make me take a few deep breaths. And what I manifested is space. Space to do what I want to do. I have friend who has been reading Fully Alive and the movement taking place in her has been massive. She called me last night to say, ‘Guess what I will be getting my job, the way I want on my terms and I was called in to speak to the big boss, he congratulated me on my actions and asked what I would do to proceed.” And all of this because I started to breathe. All of this in two weeks.” A subtle change, starting to breathe, a HUGE impact on another life.
Being in the moment, breathing in THIS moment that is all I can do… that is all I am choosing to do. I am hearing you Louise, your words rumble around in me… “Breathe, allow what there to move, exhale and engage.” I have to trust that. That is my journey as I see it for now, learning to trust mySelf every moment. Now that is interesting a sharp pain, fire energy in my left leg… always on my left side, so I breathe, I send my energy where it needs to go and the ‘pain’ goes away… that is a funny statement the pain goes away… it actually morphs into something new, a different sensation one that feels strong. And I know there is always more, and for now I have nothing more to say.