As I sit here looking out my window on a glorious December 31, 2010 I reflect back on what has taken place in the last year in my life. So many different shifts, lots of movement, lots of discoveries and in the end I stand more solidly in who I am. It has not always been easy or fun, I have turned my life inside out to discover who I am and would I do it again? YES.
Yes because just a few short years ago I had no idea who I was. I was so busy living my life to please others, waiting for and wanting approval. Being nice when I didn’t want to, saying yes when I wanted to say no, afraid of what the consequences would be if I really told the truth of what I felt inside of me. And I have to admit I often did not know what I felt inside. That was then, this is now.
Today, on this day I ‘feel’ very different. I like me, I really like me, in fact I adore who I am. What I like most about myself is my curiosity. I like to ask questions, to seek out new information about who and what we are. Working on being ‘like’ everybody else was draining, I have discovered how to be me. I have discovered I am a woman always standing on the edge of my life, waiting to be propelled into a new experience to discover if I really believe what I believe. What is a belief? The dictionary defines it as ‘an opinion or conviction, confidence, faith, trust.’ As I have evolved some of my beliefs have changed, they have changed because I started to ask myself the question, why do I believe that? Is it because I trusted someone’s opinion? Usually yes, and then I had to ask myself, what do “I” believe and sometimes it is different to what I held, and in that moment I am different.
As I stand here, metaphorically…actually I’m sitting, on the edge of 2010 preparing to dive into 2011, I trust my inner compass, I know this year is a new beginning even if some things might look the same.
May 2011 be your new beginning!