The White Picket Fence

Apr 28th, 2017 | By | Category: Insights

What is the one thing that will always bite you in the arse? EXPECTATIONS! They creep up when we least expect them to. The ones we can see coming , those are no problem, it’s the ones that linger deep beneath the surface and emerge subtly, presenting in our reactions to events, words, behaviours etc…

Expectations are where stories are born. They are the vehicle our intellect uses to stay in control, and invite us to run rampant into the abyss of I am not worthy. Now this is not an issue when we recognize the story and the root of it. It is a problem when it comes out from left field and all of a sudden we are in struggle, life is not running so smooth and we are reacting to externally referenced triggers.White picket fence.

Expectations are born from our cultural conditioning. It’s the perceptual filter from which we see and engage our world. They shape the choices we make on a daily basis…constantly running in the background.

One story that is pervasive is the white picket fence…you know the happily ever after story we are all told. Go to school, get good grades, graduate, find a job, find a mate, procreate, and find a nice house with a nice white picket fence. Yet how many of us really want that? We sometimes find ourselves inside the white picket fence looking out, longing for something different. And for some who don’t get the white picket fence, they look in, longing to have the fairy tale…it’s the grass is always greener story. It keeps us at odds with one another.

Competition! Win/Lose/Victory/Defeat…these are are held in the expectation of not being worthy. No one escapes this. It just presents differently.

Back to the white picket fence…the story we all want, but do we. We think we do until we have it, then we realize HEY! This, maybe, is not what I want. Now the question is What do we want? We were not given options. How do we create a different life when all we have available to us are the stories, the expectations, that have been so deeply ingrained, we can’t see that they are binding us to a perceptual reality. The white picket fence is the vehicle by which we keep our beliefs, values and attitudes well contained.

Perceptual Reality…my perception is my reality. And unless I am willing to question my perceptions the only options I have are limited to what I know. So what is an alternative to the white picket fence? I don’t know, in this moment. It’s an inquiry to strip away all the layers of deeply embedded cultural conditioning and beliefs to allow my SELF to let my truth emerge.

Until the next time!

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